One of the worst emotional experiences a person can go through is being cheated on. The betrayal of someone you trust can be very difficult to move on from. It is possible to heal though. There are steps you can take to help you in this journey. First off, it is important to allow yourself to experience the series of emotions and grieve. Don’t feel the need to hurry to move on right away. Observe and describe what you are thinking and feeling. It is normal to feel a multitude of emotions. Also be ready to take little steps at a time, while being mindful to not let your entire life slip past you. Take care of yourself physically. Continue to keep up with basic responsibilities and trust the process.
Being mindful in this process is key. It can feel like a bomb, and it is a massive emotional experience to be cheated on, but you will realize that over time, there is a very gradual process of healing. Let this be some form of reassurance to you of progress and hope. Then ever so gradually and when you are ready, start to make more tiny steps towards goals you have. Continue to socialize some and rebuild your life. The actions don’t have to be grand, just be sure that you are not holing up or putting life on hold for too long!
Does the Pain of Being Cheated on Ever Go Away?
It’s hard to say if it ever truly completely goes away. The memory will always be there, causing understandable caution or even apprehension in future relationships. But at the same time, it does not mean that you cannot have a meaningful and fulfilling life. We can take adverse experiences and become better informed and more mature individuals. And these tools allow us to unlock greater experiences!
How Long Does it Take to Get Over Being Cheated On?
It does vary greatly from person to person. It also depends on factors like nature of the relationship, how much the individuals stay in each other’s lives, duration of the relationship, how much support the person has and so on. The first few months can be months of active grieving and healing. In many patients I’ve seen at the one-year mark some evidence though of working back into a groove of some sort in life. But this is not a hard and fast rule.
How To Stop Overthinking After Being Cheated On
It can be easy to get stuck thinking about what happened, if you could have done anything differently, what you should have noticed, etc. but it is not helpful to healing to spend big periods of time thinking this way. A practical way to stop overthinking is by setting a block of time when you will be committed to distracting yourself and actively trying to not think about it. There is the dangerous slope of obsessing and thinking about the past at the cost of your own progress. A great way to set a block of time is to schedule an activity such as group time at a gym or something that involves you to be active and with others.
It also never hurts to check in with a professional mental health provider in your area. Professional help can provide a well-trained sounding board that will help you be more mindful of how you think and process things. Just being self-aware of overthinking will actually help lessen it. Lack of awareness is when it’s easy to overdo something.
Continue to build healthy relationships. These do not have to be romantic, but having corrective experiences can help mitigate being over vigilant. When it comes to connecting with others there will always be risk, but we do not want to be paralyzed by fear. Fear will beget isolation which gives too much open time which is an invitation to further overthinking.
Regaining Self-Confidence After Being Cheated On
Getting cheated out can rock a person’s confidence and sense of worth, it’s important to take steps to rebuild that confidence. Finding support from others who have had similar experiences can be extremely helpful. Sometimes there may be local support groups. You will find that so many people have similar reactions, and through the experience and input of others, begin to slowly and truly believe that just because this happened, does not mean we should lose confidence.
Take this time and distance as a way to pamper yourself. Not necessarily in a spa like way, although that can be one approach too. But to take care of yourself with diet, good sleep, and exercise. When you are in a better physical state, it helps your mental health to have the fuel it needs to work properly. And it can be a chance to self reflect on what you’d like to do as a project for yourself for your own personal development. Take this as an opportunity to prove things not for others, but for yourself and show yourself what you truly have. When I had difficult times in my personal life, I worked out more. I was not overweight, but it made me feel better and had a nice side effect of creating a healthier self.
Can You Still Love Someone Who Cheated on You?
It is indeed possible to love someone after they’ve cheated on you but this is so dependent on the individual couple. The question is, if things have truly changed for the better and if both parties are fully on board. Studies have found that about 20% of couples didn’t divorce after secret infidelity relationships and 57% didn’t divorce after revealed infidelity. Infidelity is, we can all agree, a complex situation. People resort to this for different reasons. And to an extent, can be a symptom of something deeper underlying the relationship. Divorces are very complex as well, especially when you start to factor in children and finances. There are various reasons couples decide to not divorce and some are the right reasons such as working on the marriage and others may not be the best reasons such as “for the kids” or out of financial concerns.
If you have been cheated on once or multiple times in a relationship, that relationship can survive, although the question would be at what cost to the quality of the relationship!
A common question everyone who has been in this position asks themselves is, should I break up with a partner that cheated? This is very dependent on the individual circumstance. You will want to take into consideration the context, how often this has happened, if this has happened before and most importantly, if both parties ultimately do want to stay together and if they are motivated to make necessary changes. Do both parties think they can be in each other’s lives in a contributory way instead of complicating each other’s lives.
How To Trust A New Partner
It can be challenging to trust again in new relationships. It is so important to bear in mind, this is a different person. They are not the same person and they will not act the same. Always remember that! Having open communication is key. Talk with your partner about how you are feeling. What you think is going well in the relationship and areas of growth opportunity. Both parties should try to be mindful of their tone and how they present. Trying to be nonjudgmental and making a tone as one of wanting to work together.
If you are dealing with the emotional aftermath of being cheated on and are looking for a sympathetic ear that will listen and give you practical strategies to move forward towards healing we invite you to reach out the New Frontiers Psychiatry & TMS. Book an appointment today. Request an Appointment online.
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“I’m very grateful to have found Dr. Yin. She spent a great deal of time with me in the first session to get my information/insights to add to the info in my medical records, which she had read prior to the visit. She listens and offers very helpful insight. She doesn’t believe in simply throwing more medications at psychiatric symptoms. I was on 6 meds prior to seeing her and I’m now on 2. She’s kind, respectful, and incredibly knowledgeable. I couldn’t be happier with her and strongly recommend her!”